


How could a fistfight be romantic?

by YunaDragneel



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Creatures & Monsters, Angst, Cannibalism, Creatures & Monsters in a modern setting, Everyone has monster attributes but they look human for the most part, Everyone is special, Exy is a Monster sport, F/M, I hope it will be good, I'm still thinking about Character Death but I have barely any idea how long this is gonna be, M/M, Neil is a fuck up due to Monster genes, Shit will go down, Tags and Warnings May Change, The rape warning is for the thing with Drake I will warn you in time in a chapter don't worry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-29
Updated: 2017-10-06
Packaged: 2018-11-21 00:15:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11346057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YunaDragneel/pseuds/YunaDragneel
Summary: Exy. The sport specifically for monsters to be as brutal as they wanted. Barely any normal humans played, due to the nature of the game. The nature of the players. But there was also a darker side to the game. It was created for the sole purpose of selling rare monsters to some bidders. Most colleges got their money like that, but sometimes the traders and traffickers just straight out kidnapped the unsuspecting players. It was nasty but Neil loved the sport with all his heart.





	1. I find I can't rely on myself

The craving had started a few hours ago, after a match of Exy and he’d made the mistake of looking into the crowd of humans. It only got worse. So bad to the point he was now laying in the broken-in locker room of his school, trying to keep himself in check and not succumb to his inhumane desire to rip apart and feast.

_Feast._

“Neil? Are you here?” It was Coach Hernandez. Human to the bones and Neil clawed at his stomach to stop. He’d overstayed his welcome; his craving was a sign for that. Though he could also feel the curse marks on his stomach kick to action at his inhumane craving. The curses his mother put on him to stop his craving. But they just burned and hurt and he hated it and he hated that he never got to ask his mother why. If she had explained, he wouldn’t be lying here on the floor in this agony. He wouldn’t get a headache from remembering what she’d done to him.

“Coach…” Yet he couldn’t stop himself from replying. He also knew he used the voice that made people sympathetic towards him. A trait that was dangerous and only his kind could use it. They were sweet-talking, mimicking nice people, getting trust. Then they struck and started anew with a different person.

“Coach Hernandez, is he in there?” An unknown voice resounded, and the footsteps indicated someone entering the locker room where Neil was on the ground, clutching at his stomach. A man appeared in his vision and Neil fought down the urge to launch himself at the man and tear the flesh from his bones. He smelled the magic all over him, knowing he wasn’t a normal human like Coach Hernandez. “My name’s David Wymack, coach of the Exy team from Palmetto State University. I’ve come here to recruit you to my team.” He grabbed the contract from a bag and pushed it in Neil’s line of sight. The man was obviously staring at Neil, trying to figure out the cause of his pain.

“No… ‘m not gonna sign.” The boy slurred, pain making his thought and speech slow. He shifted a little, trying to move away from the Coach.

“You’re cursed, and I’m pretty sure I know people who could help you with that. Just think about it and sign it.” Wymack kept his eyes trained on the writhing form in front of him. He was used to the teenage monsters and how their bodies sometimes acted against them. Yet he wasn't even sure if Neil even was a monster. But he knew a curse when he saw one.

“He shouldn’t think about it and just do it.” Another voice responded, slightly grim, but overall superior. Neil glanced to the door and froze when he saw Kevin Day standing in the doorway. “Sign the contract.”

“No.” Neil turned, feeling sick from the stench of death Kevin had around him. It wasn’t that Neil wasn’t used to smelling death, but it was overwhelming his senses, the smell thick and murky, lingering and giving Neil an incentive to quell his hunger with disgust at rotten flesh. Kevin Day was a dead man walking, alive through necromancy only. And Neil didn’t know when and how it happened, but he figured that ever since the fateful day back in that house in Baltimore, a lot changed. Nothing would stay the same for so long and Neil was painfully aware.

“Don’t be stubborn.” He stepped closer to Neil, his arms crossed over his chest as he stared him down. “Sign with us and you can be an Exy legend.” Exy. The sport specifically for monsters to be as brutal as they wanted. Barely any normal humans played, due to the nature of the game. The nature of the players. But there was also a darker side to the game. It was created for the sole purpose of selling rare monsters to some bidders. Most colleges got their money like that, but sometimes the traders and traffickers just straight out kidnapped the unsuspecting players. It was nasty but Neil loved the sport with all his heart. His mother had told him to not play Exy ever again after the room in Baltimore. And he did against his better judgement. If she were here, she would punish him for his idiocy and disregard of her advice. Or command really.

Neil shook his head, but the words Exy legend left him craving for something else. Not flesh, nothing primal. He craved for his life to mean something. And he wanted it so badly. But he waited for a moment, staring at the contract. He’d managed to shift himself into a position that was similar to sitting up right. Unsteady from hunger he gave the Coach in front of him a once over, then looked over to Kevin with a judging face. He knew he was selling his soul to the devil if he signed it. But he was already on borrowed time ever since Seattle and he didn’t have anything else to lose aside from his life.

“Okay. I’ll… I’ll sign.” He took the offered pen and signed with the name he wanted to cling to. Neil Josten wasn’t a real person. It was someone fabricated. Someone not quite as broken and sadistic as Nathaniel Wesninski. He went rigid when he felt a bit of magic on his fingers, staring down at them. It was foreign feeling such pure magic. He’d only known the hexes and curses of his mother when she spat them at him, cursing him for having genes that would never let him die, but the scars would always be there to see. Curses that hurt, that scarred his skin when she casted them a little to forceful. A little too harsh.

“Your promise is now bound by magic, Josten.” And Neil felt a cold wave of nausea weave over him. He’d signed something he shouldn’t have and he’d made a promise of the worst kind. Something he was warned to never do. It was an instant response when he got to his feet and made a mad dash for the outside, but he was quickly stopped in his tracks with an Exy racquet to his stomach, flooring him. A face appeared above him, a misplaced smile and a voice way too blank to fit with it.

“Looks like I’ve caught a rabbit.” Neil knew it was Andrew Minyard, goalkeeper for the Foxes of Palmetto - his soon to be teammate. And Neil couldn’t help but feel completely overwhelmed with the violent greeting.

“Fuck you.” He spat, sitting up and feeling his ribs, thankfully not broken and only bruised. Kevin had followed Neil lazily, looking at his crumpled floor and then to Andrew, with a frown tugging on his lips.

“I hope you didn’t break him, Andrew.” It wasn't concern for Neil per se, but more a worry for the games to be played. He wanted to tell Kevin to fuck off. But Wymack’s appearance made him swallow his words.

“God damn it Minyard. This is why we can’t have nice things.” Wymack looked at Neil, checked him from head to toe but deemed him relatively alright.

“If he were nice, we wouldn’t be recruiting him.” Andrew gave a shrug and dropped the racquet carelessly to the floor, taking a step back from Neil.

The newly signed striker got to his feet, wobbling for a moment due to exhaustion. Wymack considered him for a moment longer before ignoring Andrew and continuing: “Okay so the flight back to Palmetto is tomorrow. We’ll get you to Palmetto once you finished your school here.”

Neil nodded, looked back at Coach Hernandez, who seemed nervous. He smiled at Neil tentatively, though looked back at Andrew. Kevin looked as bored as ever, but there was a hint of excited air around him.

“Are your parents going to be a problem?” Wymack suddenly asked and Neil knew what it alluded to. Coach Hernandez had told him how Neil broke into the locker room to sleep because he couldn’t stay in the house he was accommodating in.

Neil hesitated for a moment. His parents would always be a problem. His mother dead but her voice still like lead in his head. His father a killer and looking for him- for his money. And Neil was always the loose end. The danger to his father’s empire, to his father’s kind.

“No. They won’t.” Was what he said instead. Andrew watched him with this manic grin and Neil knew he didn’t want those watchful eyes on him. They felt like burning coals on his neck and Neil couldn't stand fire. It weakened his heart of ice, it almost killed him that once, but he still wouldn’t die. No, with his fucked-up genes he couldn’t die. He’d spent years running and surviving that it never really felt like living. He wanted it. He wanted this life so bad, somewhere where he could make his life into something better. And if it didn’t work as he thought… then he would try to figure it out.

He could always run though, always go and be someone else at another place. He could be Damian, Josh, Christoph, Dennis… anyone. Neil was even willing to assume a girl’s identity just to keep hidden. With his small stature, it would be relatively easy to do so. He took a few short breaths, trying to swallow the anxiety trying to escape. Maybe it terrified him more to be so willing to give everything up.

“Interesting.” Andrew’s words cut his thought process short and he whipped his head around to look at the goalkeeper. He seemed to have seen something in Neil’s eyes and it made him shiver. Andrew Minyard was a man to be feared Neil would learn.


	2. In the chill of your stare I'm painfully lost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at Abby's and Neil wishes he wasn't so fucked up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently re-reading the books to try and stick a bit to the timeline, but I realize since this story is never going to be quite like the books to ditch the timeline completely, sooooo... I'm coming up with my own stuff pretty much. Pacing is still horrible at best but the beginning is just introduction and getting settled. Once I get to set plotpoints it'll get better!  
> I hope you like the chapter.

Neil had to crash on Coach Wymack’s couch. The fact that he would have a softer bedding was enough to make it less terrible for Neil than he thought. Yet… he couldn't help but worry. He was under the same roof as a man who could be his father and on top of it all a human with magical powers. For all Neil knew he’d have to stay away as much as possible. The craving wasn't over yet and he had to fight every instinct to tear Wymack’s flesh from his bones and devour it raw.

_“Don’t be so greedy junior. Cook first, eat later.”_ Neil’s eyes snapped open, cold sweat forming on his forehead. He’d dozed off for a second and the memory made the bile rise in the back of his throat. Slapping his hand over his mouth, Neil hunched forward and swallowed hard. His breathing was getting out of control and he needed to calm down fast or else Wymack would notice. Step after step he got to the bathroom and stared into the mirror. The image reflected was more than pathetic with a curse mark slowly sneaking up and out of his shirt. It spread again. It would keep spreading the more he craved and it would kill him if he ever gave in completely.

A knock on the door made Neil jump. “Kid you in there?”

“Yes, Coach.” He grimaced at his scratchy voice.

“Abby invited us over for dinner, I just wanted to give you a heads-up that the monsters and Kevin will be there as well.” Wymack responded. Neil could almost hear the concern.

“Thank you, Coach.” The striker replied obediently. Always respond the way the older men wanted, that was what had been drilled into his mind, what he had learned the hard way after refusing his father once.

“Look, Josten. No one’s going to harm you here. If you need to talk then maybe I can call Betsy and she’ll talk to you. It’s my job to make you into a player, the personal things aren’t in my paygrade.”

“I understand, Coach.” He could hear Wymack heave a loud sigh before seemingly giving up on talking to him. Neil stayed in the bathroom for a few more moments, waiting for something to happen. The tension in his shoulders made him cringe, he hated it. Wymack had been nothing but kind in his grouchy way and didn’t _deserve_ Neil’s distrust. Fuck he didn’t deserve it.

He left the bathroom, his face pale but otherwise calmer than he had been. His fists clenched at his side, his lips in a firm line. Inside he felt like he was burning and it was unpleasant. The binder in his duffel bag was safely in Wymack’s office, Neil had the key. The keys. He was wanted. The keys proved that he was _allowed_ to be there. To stay despite his nature, despite the monster he was.

 

The car ride to Abby’s house was eerily silent in Neil’s opinion, though he hadn’t wanted to talk either so he had to suck it up and deal with it. It was a decent family house Abby owned. Two stories tall, a small lawn to go with and most likely a basement as well. But to Neil it felt ominous, maybe it was just the way he remembered the house in Baltimore was almost the same. The house Neil had lived in had always had that specific smell of food whenever his father cooked─ _No._ He didn’t want to be reminded of the smell of his home. It would make the craving worse. He flinched when Wymack parked the car, the man looking at him with an apologetic look.

“Sorry kid.”

“I’m fine, Coach.” It slipped off his tongue before he could stop it and forced a smile to go with it. Wymack didn’t look like he believed him. Neil still had this fake smile plastered onto his face.

“… Fuck’s sake. It seems like some people have been expecting you.” Neil’s head whipped around to see Andrew Minyard and Kevin Day on the porch of the house. His blood ran cold at the smile Andrew shot him and Neil suddenly felt like he was back in the room at Baltimore, his father smiling and─ No. “Come on, we’d better get inside.”

Neil knew his nod was stiff, but he didn’t care, he was trying to even out his breathing. To not look like a fish stranded on the beach. He got out of the car, trying to relax his twitching hands. Neil wanted to run. Running was all that was on his mind, consuming him like white noise. The smell of death and rotten flesh hit Neil with a wave of nausea, but he didn’t let it show. His nose was burning but he forced himself to look at Kevin. See him as a person and not as a disgusting piece of rotten meat.

Breathing got easier once Andrew’s smell hit his nose, sweet and smoky. The smell of fire and marshmallows being roasted over the heat, and even though Neil hated it he felt like he could hear fire crackling when he focused on Andrew’s breathing for a moment. It clicked once he looked into the hazel eyes, so full of fiery rage, masked with this drug induced smile.

“You’re a dragon.” It slipped from Neil’s mouth before he could stop himself, but Andrew’s smile grew wider, more sharp teeth and feral. Neil hated sweets, but Andrew’s smell was more pleasant than rotten flesh.

“Well well. You figured it out, smart, aren’t you?” There was an obvious mockery in it and Neil didn’t dignify it with a response. Neil Josten was quiet, never out for trouble. That was the persona he set for himself. “Care to tell us what Kevin is if you’re so smart?”

“Half Wind-Spirit.” He hadn’t meant to answer, but it shot out of his mouth before he could stop himself. Kevin frowned. It was common knowledge that Kevin was a Wind Spirit, but the fact that he was half wasn’t and that Neil knew was slightly off-putting. “The other half is human.” He continued and held Andrew’s stare.

“How do you know that?”

“I can sense it.” It was a blatant lie.

“Just what on earth are you? You’re not human at least.” Kevin muttered, checking him from head to toe, his gaze caught at Neil’s neck where the curse was peeking out. “Is that a curse?” Neil pulled his shirt up a bit more, hissing at Kevin without thinking right. Andrew had shoved himself between Kevin and Neil, acting as a barrier, he was blowing out smoke and Neil realized he was about to spew fire.

“Enough!” Wymack’s voice boomed like thunder, making Neil flinch and shuffle away like he had been burned. Kevin shot him a look and Andrew relaxed, blowing the rest of the smoke out of his nose and stepping away from Kevin. “Christ, Andrew. You were about to roast our new striker. It’s barely been ten minutes and you wanted to fucking murder him.”

Wymack’s loud voice had drawn curious glances from the doorway to Abby’s house. Neil was cowering out of sight, clutching his hands over his ears and shivering. _Stupid stupid stupid stupid_. All men were the same as his father, no one was different. The hand on his shoulder made him flinch and lash out on whoever touched him, caught in the memory of people holding him down─ _knives being pulled_. And then there was a hand on his neck, a thumb pressing to his windpipe, but not cutting off the air. It was meant to be grounding.

“David what did you do to him?” A female voice got through to his ears, she seemed upset.

“I accidentally raised my voice, I didn’t think but Andrew would’ve spat fire at him if I didn’t.” Coach Wymack sounded tired, but yet at the same time rather blank and Neil didn’t know what to think.

“How cruel Coach. I wouldn’t have done anything to him,” Andrew’s voice was close, closer than he thought.

“Kevin, are you alright? He scratched you pretty bad…” It was an unfamiliar voice and Neil flinched.

“Nicky shut up, Kevin seems fine doesn’t he? Go inside with him. Abby take care of that idiot over there. Coach, you stay here.” Neil could hear Andrew’s manic smile, but the shuffling made him aware that the others seemed to have left. He forced his eyes open, faced with Andrew’s smile and he would’ve rather shuffled away but there was nowhere left with his back against the porch. “Ah the little rabbit is back with us, isn’t he?” Andrew’s hand left his neck and he sat back, eyes still burning into him like coals. Coach Wymack stepped a bit closer, Andrew shifting out of the way, keeping his eyes trained on Neil.

“Neil, I’m sorry.” Wymack looked so tired and Neil knew he’d seen some shit. He’d been through a lot and he couldn’t hold anything against his foxes. “I’m a grumpy old man, I sometimes yell but kid, it’s never directed at you. I don’t hit anyone unless I’m provoked and even that takes a lot.” Neil nodded, the rational part of his brain knowing he was safe.

“I’m sorry Coach.” Neil heard the tremble in his own voice and cursed himself. “I didn’t mean to react the way I did. I didn’t mean to hurt Kevin.”

“Well, well. What you meant to do and what you did are two different things aren’t they, rabbit?” It felt like a punch to the gut when Andrew put it like that and Neil averted his eyes. Breathing in Andrew’s scent of fire and marshmallows, he felt this strange calm wash over him.

“The fuck is taking you so long?” A rough voice called from the door and Neil looked up to see someone almost completely identical to Andrew. The only difference was the expression on the face and the armbands.

“Ah the brother of mine surfaces.” Andrew looked at him with a wide manic smile. “What’s good Aaron?”

“Abby told me to get you all.” His eyes stopped at Andrew, who sat beside Neil so casually. “Dinner is ready.”

 

Dinner was quiet. Kevin glanced at Neil every so often, Andrew smiled all the way through, drugged to the high heavens, Nicky had tried to make conversation but after the first five minutes he realized no one was willing to talk. Aaron kept on scowling at Neil and the nineteen-year-old in question shifted uncomfortably under Aaron’s gaze.

“Could you stop fidgeting?” Kevin grumbled lightly. Neil went rigid, halted his motion in favor of stillness.

“Aaron stop glaring at him!” Nicky was exasperated, looking at his cousin with pleading eyes. Andrew had torn his food into small bite-sized pieces and stuffed one after the other into his mouth, observing the others around the table. Aaron ─ in fact ─ didn’t stop glaring, until Andrew shot him a look.

“How is the food Neil?” Abby asked, trying to break the awkward silence.

“It’s good.” He muttered. It was delicious, especially because it was deer. Neil wasn’t sure if they’d known or if Abby just made a lucky pick. Deer was like a substitute for Neil. It dimmed the craving, but it wouldn’t satisfy completely.

“Oh, I realized we didn’t introduce ourselves!!” Nicky exclaimed, flustered over his manners and Neil stared at him with a bit of confusion. “I’m Nicholas Hemmick! Aaron and Andrew are my cousins. You can call me Nicky though.” He winked and Aaron groaned. Neil looked pointedly between them. Nicky didn’t have any similarity to the twins _at all_. With his darker complexion, and all.

“You, uh… Don’t look like them?” He finally said, unsure if he was even allowed to say that out loud. Nicky laughed and Neil startled for a moment.

“I get that often. I look more like my mom, she’s Mexican. Oh yeah I’m an─”

“Let Neil figure out what you are, Nicky. He has a talent for it after all.” Andrew looked pointedly at Neil, a manic smile tugging at his lips, but his eyes were sharp.

“Really?? You can figure it out Neil?” Nicky looked amazed. “Damn that’s handy.”

“I can… uh. Try?” Neil felt his heartrate spike, biting his lip, he focused on the smells, trying to take them all apart. He smelled Kevin’s rotten smell. Andrew’s fire. Nicky smelled _clean_. Like soap and honey, but there was a fragrance of Magnolia as well. But there was also human mixed in. “You’re a half-angel?” Nicky gaped at him with his eyes wide.

“How did you figure it out? Oh my god Neil you’re amazing! You shot up to number 3 on my list!” Neil blinked at him a few times.

“Stop with your gay shit,” Aaron growled and Neil focused on him. Since he was Andrew’s twin, Neil thought his smell was identical, but he couldn’t be more wrong. Aaron smelled like water, frozen solid and somewhat like ice cream. The coldness soothed Neil’s heart of ice. Yet. He could smell powder and other things on Aaron.

“You’re an ice dragon that’s… strange. Considering you and Andrew are twins… Maybe a mutation…?” Neil trailed off, suddenly feeling exposed under all the looks shot his way. “But the alchemy is strong on you.” Aaron frowned at Neil.

“Are you a fucking seer or what?” He growled, continuing to eat his food.

“In a… sense maybe?” Neil couldn’t tell them that he had the ability to smell every single thing on the people he confronted to see who was the best source of food for him. Who was sick and who was healthy. What the other people were. It was a curse more or less in a figurative sense.

“That’s creepy.” Aaron gave him a look and Neil shrunk back. Andrew always carefully watched him, the glint in his eyes seeing something he didn’t like.

“What are Abby and Coach?” Nicky asked, grinning at the revelations. Neil looked at the nurse for a second, smelling powder and disinfectant on her.

“Healer and Alchemist… But human through and through.” Then he looked at Wymack and already knowing the answer. “Human mage.” Nicky gave a whistle, looking visibly impressed. Abby smiled gently nodding at Neil.

“You’re very knowledgeable Neil.” He didn’t look up from his plate, focused on eating. Neil didn’t want to remember how he learned about it. _How his father hung slabs of meat in front of him and asked him to identify them and_ ─ He swallowed. The memory making it hard to eat right. He finished off his food, leaning back and looking up to find Andrew staring at him, whilst Nicky made useless small talk with Abby.


	3. The Edge of the Unknown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil meets the rest of the foxes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have a regular schedule so the updates come whenever I finish a chapter! Pacing is still horrible but I wanna get to Columbia fast because there everything kind of kicks off for real and the story will be better then!  
> Thank you all for the comments on the last chapter, they made me so happy, honestly!

Weeks passed in a blur with Neil’s training and Nicky constantly flirting, Kevin always telling Neil he didn’t do enough during practice, Aaron being rude and Andrew always watching in the shadows. The start of the semester approached and the rest of the Foxes came to campus to move into the dorms and Neil had to move out of Wymack’s apartment. It came with a sour feeling of having to give back the keys, which he tried. But Coach didn’t take them back. Neil kept them, along with the keys to the stadium and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it.

He learned he would be rooming with people called Matt and Seth, yet he wasn’t eager to meet them. New people meant change. Change meant questions. And he needed to continue lying. The first ones to move into the dorms were Andrew’s group, which wasn’t surprising since they had stayed in Palmetto throughout the summer. They had no one to return to it seemed.

Neil was waiting at the stadium for this Matt person to pick him up. He had his trusty duffel with him, and that was all he needed. A young man appeared in the doorway, with short brown hair and warm brown eyes and the smell of _dog_ wafted into Neil’s nose. A werewolf then.

“Hello! You must be Neil right? Coach told me about you.” He gave Neil a smile, sharp white teeth showing.

“Hello,” Neil replied politely.

“I heard you can guess who people are. I was just wondering for a moment if…” Matt trailed off suddenly looking a bit embarrassed. Neil took a moment until it hit him.

“Oh. Yeah. You’re uh… a werewolf.”

“So it is true! How do you do it? Ah shit. I forgot to introduce myself. My name’s Matt Boyd! Nice to meet you Neil.” He stretched his hand out for Neil to shake. Hesitating for a moment, Neil then shook it. “I have a lot of stuff that needs to be moved into the dorms and uh… I’d appreciate it if you could help me? Maybe? I need to get the girls from the airport in a few hours and I’d like to get settled beforehand.”

“Sure.”

 

The ride to the dorms was quick and Neil helped Matt unload every piece of furniture and all the bags. Nicky tried to be helpful and flirted with Neil almost constantly until Andrew called for him and Nicky froze for a moment before he excused himself and went back to the suite he shared with the twins and Kevin. Neil didn't frown and neither did Matt, who then began arranging the furniture and the entertainment center he brought into the suite.

“Oh yeah. Do you have a fear of heights or anything? If not I’d suggest you take the top bunk. I’m too tall to fit and Seth keeps weird hours. So if you want any attempt at sleep you should take the top,” Matt smiled at Neil before he continued to fiddle with the cables. “I gotta get the girls from the airport in a bit, maybe you should take the time to go and get some shopping done. Bedsheets and such.” Neil blinked for a moment, trying to process all the info Matt had given him.

“Yeah I should… probably do that. Thanks for offering the ride as well…” Biting his lip, Neil knew he would have to finally leave his duffel in the suite and he didn’t feel comfortable. Especially the binder was something he would never voluntarily leave alone. Yet he had to. Neil readied up and stuffed his duffel into the bottom most drawer, trying to hide it efficiently.

“Okay Neil, we should get going.”

 

Neil’s shopping didn’t take long, so he was left with little option but returning to the dorms by foot. It was quite the challenge and took a while longer due to the shopping bags which contained bedsheets and a safe to store his binder in, but eventually he had Fox Tower in sight. His trek back hadn’t taken as much time as he thought, since Matt’s truck was nowhere to be found and without further thoughts he went into the tower and took the elevator to the floor he was in.

Inside his suite Neil immediately went to the bedroom to make his bed and then stash away the rest, taking out his duffel. His hairs stood up on end, feeling like something wasn’t right. Someone had been here. After breathing for a moment, he smelled the faint fire. The marshmallows. And he knew who it had been. Almost hysterically he rummaged through the duffel, pulling out everything and noticing how the tags from his shirts weren’t sticking out and how they were arranged a little differently. He took in ragged breaths when he grabbed his binder and tore through it, trying to look if something had been missing. Everything was still there, the money between the pages, his lock picks and his coded contacts. With one last sweep he looked everything over, grabbed the lock picks and then pushed the binder into the safe, locking and hiding it under his clothes.

With a fearsome determination he walked out of the suite, towards the one inhabited by Andrew and his lot, he double checked no one was around and set to work, picking the lock in admirable time, with a forceful shove he opened it, looking as if he wanted to murder everyone. But Andrew looked unimpressed, like he could see the panic and anxiety bubbling up.

“I thought we locked the door?” Nicky asked in quiet German and Aaron shrugged for a moment. They didn’t know Neil understood. They didn’t know and it gave him this sick satisfaction.

“Stay out of my things,” he snarled, his gaze fixed on Andrew especially, “I know you broke in.” Andrew still didn’t change face and gave an elaborate shrug. He didn’t care. But Neil was angry, so angry. A curse was ready on his tongue but Kevin’s look pierced him, the smell almost immediately wafting into his nose and Neil felt himself gag.

“Is he okay?” Nicky looked concerned, but Aaron told him to stay put.

“You reek of death, Kevin,” Neil ground out in French and Kevin’s eyes widened, “You reek so rotten and that’s what you are inside.”

“What did you just say?” Kevin stood up, trying to seem menacing ─ and he succeeded in a way because it made Neil back away. Andrew just watched them with something like faint interest in his eyes.

“You heard me. Tell you guard dog to keep away from my stuff.” With that Neil turned back and walked out of the door, back to his own dorm. The feeling of Andrew’s eyes burning into his back never left.

 

Matt arrived a little later when Neil’s fuming had turned to a headache. As if someone drove two nails into the front of his scalp just hidden by his mop of hair. Trying to get the pain to back the fuck off, he tugged at his hair, right at the spot where it hurt but he let it be quickly. The pain wasn't only in his head.

“Hey Neil, I’ll be with the girls for a while and I think I should introduce you to them if that’s okay?” Matt watched him for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.” Neil took a shuddering breath not very convincing. “I’m fine.” Matt stepped a bit closer, choosing not to believe Neil when he said he was fine.

“Can I take a look?” He pointed to Neil’s head. Neil should’ve said no. But he nodded against his better judgement. He’s known Matt for a day only and yet he felt like he could trust him. And it hurt. Matt’s hands were gentle, feeling his scalp and prodding at the points of pain, he frowned a little. “Are you… supposed to grow horns?” Neil flinched away, biting his lips. Matt waited for a moment. “It seems like you’re growing horns, Neil. But the strange thing is they feel a little different from each other. Like… I don’t know. They’re not the same?”

“Okay. Thank you.” Neil took deep breaths. After the memory returned to him. His mother’s rough hands when she grabbed and ripped off his horns when they fled. Neil had cried so much from the pain and his mother yelled at him to shut up and get moving. When he didn’t she beat him until he knew he was better off running from her and the ones who followed.

“Matt where are you??” A female voice called from the door and Neil’s head snapped into the general direction. A human. His thoughts were still running a thousand a mile and he shuddered. It killed him to remember. It always did since his mother’s voice never left his mind.

“In here Dan.” Matt had this serene smile on his face and it had Neil wondering for a moment. A fierce looking woman stepped in and she smiled. It was Danielle Wilds, captain of the foxes.

“So you’re Neil? Nice to meet you. I’m Dan!” She extended her hand and Neil shook it. He took a deep breath but couldn't find anything out of the ordinary on her.

“You’re human…” He muttered and she beamed at him.

“Yes but I can use force-speak,” she grinned. Neil faltered for a second. It was a rare ability, which could be used to make people bend to her will by just a command. “Don’t worry. I use it to break up fights and the likes.” He nodded at the reassurance.

“Dan? Matt?” Another female voice called gently. A young woman entered with white hair and the tips were dyed in different pastel colors. “Ah hello. My name is Renee Walker. And you must be Neil.” The smell of magic clung tightly to her, but otherwise Renee seemed human. Just with a strong affinity for magic. But he could also smell something darker, something like dark magic.

“… Hello.” He knew he was quiet, but the pain made it hard to think straight. “You’re a sorceress aren’t you?”

“Yes I am. You have an amazing talent Neil,” she smiled pleasantly, yet Neil hated it. He couldn’t stand to be near her, there was something off about her and it was better to steer clear of any danger. And to him she posed a threat.

 

They were at the stadium, waiting for the last arrivals, Allison and Seth, who had promised to come to the stadium. The monsters ─ as the upperclassmen called them (which Neil found hypocritical since they were all monsters in a way) ─ sat on a couch with Andrew on one side, Kevin beside him and Aaron and Nicky squeezed in beside. Neil planted himself in a chair, ignoring the looks shot his way from the couch. Andrew’s intent gaze, the burning coals. Neil began scratching at his head, where his horns would be. It was fucked up but once they grew he had to break them off again as to stay hidden. He was someone who couldn’t stay out in public too long. The doors opened to reveal a very angry looking man and Neil presumed it to be Seth.

“I don’t fucking know what the shit is going on but _why_ the fuck am I always being led here? You’re all not fucking lost and I’m not either.” Neil didn’t think twice about what he was saying, knowing without having to smell what Seth is. Will-o’-Wisps were an uncommon race, they mostly kept to themselves, never mingling aside from leading people astray. Seeing a Will-o’-Wisp up close and in its human form was awe-inspiring… if only it wasn’t so rude. Neil looked over to Seth and found himself uncomfortable when he saw the bluish glow around Seth floating into his direction. “I’m not fucking guiding anyone anywhere what the fuck is happening right here?”

“Uh. Seth we don’t know? We don’t even understand how exactly you work y’know?” Matt shrugged carefully. “Just ignore it.” Seth just let out a colorful string of swears. In the next moment the door opened again. A woman dressed so perfect she seemed to have sprung from a magazine.

“Allison you’re here!” Renee smiled gently and Neil felt his skin crawl. The woman ─ Allison he remembered ─ came over to him, giving him a once over before sinking onto the arm of his chair, holding onto him to keep her balance and Neil made his best efforts not to tense up.

“Do you want to sit? I can stand up…”

“Oh no, no. It’s fine right here.” She gave him a smile, flashing her perfectly white teeth. Seth seemed to glare at him from across the room and Neil wasn’t even sure why. He only relaxed when Wymack came into view to start off the meeting.

 

The meeting went as horrible as expected with the news of Edgar Allen’s transfer to the south and Kevin having an almost meltdown right there until Andrew calmed him down in this strange way of his. And Neil wasn’t sure what to think of Andrew yet again. He had a talent for calming people down. Maybe it was something about his strong nature. Neil didn’t know. The ride back to the dorms in Matt’s truck was relatively quiet until Neil piped up.

“Why does Kevin trust Andrew so much?” He asked and Dan looked at him with a shrug.

“Well. If you want something for safekeeping, give it to a dragon. They’re hoarders,” Renee supplied helpfully. Neil shuddered, he tried to avoid Renee as best as he could. But it proved to be harder than he thought.

“I see. Does that play part with him being a goalkeeper?” Neil couldn’t keep his curiosity in check. Gathering information was vital and this was going to be his life for now, at least until they faced Edgar Allan. Until October, then he would run.

“He’s good at what he does. Maybe it does play a part,” Dan commented thoughtfully, “Though we don’t know much about the monsters. They don’t socialize with us.” Neil just nodded, he’d noticed the tense atmosphere between the two fractions. He wasn’t even sure where he stood. Probably the third-party, not belonging anywhere as usual.

“Oh by the way. Neil has your headache gotten better?” Matt asked and looked at him through the rearview mirror.

“I’m fine.” Neil blinked at Matt a few times, trying to figure out what he would gain from him by asking. If Matt had any ulterior motives, Neil couldn’t sense them.

“That’s good.” The smile on Matt’s face was genuine and Neil found himself dumbfounded and the sheer friendliness. Maybe his stay here would prove something. He was tired from running but it wouldn’t stop him from leaving everything behind if his father’s men found him.


	4. Don't want the world to see me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abby gets over with the physical examination and she is not prepared for what she sees. Neil takes a trip down memory lane and Nicky hits on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm thanking everyone who left comments and I'm just so emotional. Thank you so, so much for the encouragement and the feedback! I'm so happy, seriously. Thank you all so so much. I hope you'll continue to have fun with this story!  
> Next chapter will be Columbia and I have a lot of stuff planned so the chapter might be longer than normal (do I even have a consistent length?)  
> Anyways! Happy reading!

Neil arrived at the stadium earlier than the others and he just stood there awkwardly, having misjudged the time by quite a bit. When the door opened to the nurse’s office, it startled Neil and he looked at Abby.

“Ah Neil. Good to see you!” She smiled and waved him over. “I still need to get over with your physical. Perhaps we can do that now?” Abby was giving him a choice and Neil felt lightheaded, still he nodded and followed her into the office.

She took two vials of blood and Neil didn’t even feel the blood loss, his body automatically making up for it. Then she did various tests and checked his reaction time, everything went as expected, maybe a bit better at the reaction tests. And Abby looked at him expectantly. It confused Neil for a bit until Abby sighed.

“Neil, I need you to take your shirt off so I can check for track marks.” Feeling like someone punched his gut, Neil curled in on himself. He would never take off his shirt. Never.

“I don’t do drugs,” He supplied instead, hoping to get off the hook with that.

“Good on you but I still need to check.” When Neil didn’t make any movements and instead stared at the door she sighed. “Look. Everything that happens here, stays here. The door can be locked and no one can get in here. And chances are I’ve seen worse. I’m the Foxes’ nurse, remember?” Neil gave her a cold smile, feeling it more like a hard snarl.

“I hope not.” It was a bitter admission, then he continued. “I have two conditions. You can’t ask me about them and you won’t tell Coach or anyone else about them.”

“I promise, but I will have to if it affects your playing okay?” He hesitated for a beat before nodding slowly. He pulled his shirt up over his head and let Abby look at the mess that was his upper body. Scars upon scars upon curse marks. The scars alone were horrible enough but the curse marks were the figurative icing on the cake. Ugly black lines or scrawls written in infernal ─ demonic ─ language and others thrown in with symbols and pentagrams. Some were even etched into his skin as scars and some almost glowed in a disgusting shade of red that reminded Neil they were still active, still relatively fresh on his skin. The curses wouldn’t lift for a long time, his mother ensured it.

She had mixed her blood with his when she casted them, as long as Neil wouldn’t die, the curses would never break. And since he was practically immortal, the curses would last forever. Her life hadn’t mattered anymore once his blood was mixed with hers. It would forever seem as if he’d casted the curses on himself, as if he’d drawn the bloody lines on his own body. The only curses he hadn’t taken part in had been the ones to prevent his horns from growing, he didn’t even remember how they looked like, but he was sure they were as wretched as his genes. His father had picked a complementary bloodline to ensure his son would be strong. To fix the weaknesses his own had.

“Neil…” She couldn’t hide the flinch, but Neil stared her down when her voice snapped him out of his thoughts. Abby swallowed and continued the physical examination, poking and prodding quickly before giving him a nod and Neil hurried to get his shirt back on. “Neil─” She tried again, but he stood up and all but ran out of the office.

 

It took Neil some time with sitting on one of the couches to get his breathing under control. He couldn’t get a grip on the shivers that made him feel like he was about to vibrate through the floor. The damn shaking _wouldn’t stop_ and Neil felt like the control of his breathing would slip away again. He hated going down memory lane. What his mother did was wrong but he still loved her. She did everything to keep him hidden even if he had to bleed for it. It was all for his sake.

He didn’t react when the couch dipped and footsteps toed around him, some of them walking away. Neil could only hear the blood rushing in his ears, too shaken. But the smell of fire and the sweet note of marshmallows helped him with breathing. Taking a huge gulp of air, Neil honestly felt like it was the first time he really breathed and he didn’t understand why the smell of fire made him feel better. Maybe because the smell was linked with his last memory of his mother. Burning to ashes in the car. Burning to return to the fiery fires of hell where a demon like her belonged.

“Your loose ends aren’t adding up.” Andrew fixed him with this intent look when Neil dared to look up.

“I’m not a math problem…” It was a weak response, Neil knew it but he wasn’t too concerned with that. Andrew was not his problem unless he made himself out to be a problem and Neil would have to figure out if he planned on it.

“Yet I’ll still solve you.” The man in question seemed strangely calm and Neil wondered for a moment of he was off his meds, but the instant a wide grin split Andrew’s face, he knew he wasn’t.

“I don’t care. Just leave.”

“The last time I checked you calmed down considerably in my presence.” Neil clenched his fist, knowing Andrew was right. More footsteps approached and Neil felt crowded for a second. “Move along. No don’t ask, move.” The footsteps retreated hesitantly.

“Why.” He wasn’t sure what he was even asking. _Why do you watch over me? Why do you help me? Why are you still here?_

“I don’t trust you. Easy as that.”

“Okay.”

“But I’m not the one with the trust issues.” Andrew leaned back, Neil could hear the couch creak underneath and Andrew’s hand near his back. “This Friday I’ll send Nicky to get you at seven with clothes you will wear.”

“What?” Neil looked at him in confusion.

“You’ll spend the weekend with us in Columbia. I’m not asking. I’m telling you to come along.” The dangerous glint in his manic eyes left no room for arguing but Neil still tried.

“No.”

“Didn’t you listen, _Josten_?” He growled low. “You will come or I’ll make your life a living hell.”

“It already is. You can’t make it worse.” Andrew approximated something like a glare through his drug induced haze. “But fine. I’ll go.”

“Good boy.” Andrew got up and walked leisurely to the locker rooms, stopping for a moment. “And take out the contacts.” Neil froze again, staring at Andrew with his mind blank. Andrew knew _Andrew knew_. The man in question then walked into the locker room and left Neil to his devices. He followed after a while, willing himself to function.

Neil changed in one of the bathroom stalls, not trusting anyone to not comment on his scars. Not trusting Kevin to recognize him. One he had his uniform over his torso, he left the stall to finish changing with the others. As it was only the Minyard twins and Nicky were left in the locker room and Neil could feel the eyes on him. Nicky was more or less checking him out, looking over his legs and giving a low whistle.

“Neil you honestly need to let me know which team you’re playing for. Seriously, I wanna know so I can tell Erik that you’re on the list.” He was enthusiastic, smiling at Neil, who just stared at him.

“I don’t swing.”

“Oh _come on_. Everyone swings one way or another or both ways. Don’t be stingy Neil! Someone as hot as you must have quite some popularity!”

“Cut the gay shit,” Aaron grumbled and glared at Neil, then at Nicky, “I don’t want to be near you when you spout gross stuff like that.” Andrew was a silent watcher against the wall, keeping track of everyone’s movement. Nicky stood up and Neil stared at him unsure. There was a nervous flicker in his eyes, even though he tried not to let it through.

“Have you ever kissed anyone Neil?” Nicky smiled softly. He wasn’t threatening but Neil felt crowded and subtly glanced around the room, trying to find an exit.

“No…” He said breathless, the times he’d kissed a girl were limited, but all the attraction was beaten out of his body when his mother had found out. She’d hit him so long until he either cried, broke something or she felt it was enough punishment. He was ripped from his memories when Andrew grabbed Nicky by the throat and shoved him up against the wall.

“Hey Nicky” Andrew said in stage-whisper German “Don’t touch him you understand?”

“You know I’d never hurt him. If he says yes-”

“I said no.”

“Jesus, you’re greedy.” Nicky said. “You already have Kevin. Why does it-” He went dead silent and Neil saw the knife pressed against his rips, ready to cut through flesh. Neil doubted Nicky would have lasting injuries due to his angelic nature. But he was human enough to make him bleed and make it hurt. Nicky wasn’t a bad guy, Neil was sure. He didn’t have any bad intentions and he _knew_ Nicky wouldn’t actively try to do something to Neil. But pretending to take the advances wouldn’t fare well with Andrew when Neil had stated he didn’t swing earlier. He needed a distraction.

“Andrew.” Nicky flashed him a look. Aaron had just clenched his fists, but looked away.

“Neil don’t,” he muttered quietly.

“Andrew, Kevin and Coach are waiting. Do you really want to hear them yell at us all for being late?” Neil tried his best to stare Andrew down. He looked contemplative for a moment, then let Nicky go and slipped the knife under his armor again.

“Kevin yelling is funny, but Coach isn’t.” He turned and walked out of the locker room, Aaron passed Nicky with a pat to the shoulder. Nicky looked at Neil for a second and then looked away.

“On a second glance, you’re not my type.” He then left. Neil hurried after them once he pulled the rest of his armor on and sprinted out, knowing he was the last to show up to practice.


	5. I want to teach you a lesson in the worst kind of way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil goes to Columbia with Andrew and his crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cross-referenced it a lot with how it happened in the books and I also took some segments from there. Next chapter will be the aftermath of Columbia and half-truths.

Friday came faster than Neil expected and wanted and he found Nicky in the hall of the floor they all lived on, a bag in his hand. He avoided looking at Neil as much as he could, but still smiled at him faintly.

“Here. Andrew told me to give you this.” The half-angel held out the bag and Neil took it with a nod. “It’s strange you know. Andrew isn’t the type to give gifts.”

“Okay. Thanks, I guess?”

“We leave in fifteen minutes. We’ll be waiting here.” Nodding, Neil left for the suite he shared with Matt and Seth and wasn’t all too surprised to find Matt and the girls in the living room, watching a movie.

“Hey Neil! Wanna watch with us?” He asked, his ears perking up. If he was completely transformed, he would probably wag his tail and Neil wasn’t sure if he thought it was pleasant to come back and see someone happy to see him. He was a lie, he was someone to be feared.

“I can’t. I’m leaving with Andrew and the rest for Columbia in fifteen minutes,” Neil muttered and the atmosphere shifted. Matt looked almost ready to punch someone and his ears laid flat on his head, clearly agitated and Dan had a tight grip on the couch.

“Be careful Neil, you know you don’t have to, right?” Neil shrugged at Dan, knowing he didn’t have a choice but he wouldn’t tell the others.

“If anything happens, don’t hesitate to call us okay? I’ll fetch you from wherever you are.” It was fucked up for Neil to even remotely think that it was acceptable to just call them when he felt threatened. They didn’t know him. They didn’t even know the lie that was Neil Josten. They trusted him when he was not to be trusted. He felt breathless all over again.

“Thank you.” He left for the bathroom to change, feeling Renee’s watchful eyes on his back until he was sure she couldn’t see him anymore. Neil changed quickly, having little time to spare and took a long, hard look in the mirror. The clothes he wore were black and the shirt was ripped in a few places, but underneath was another layer that prevented prying eyes from seeing skin. The black cargo pants had a lot of pockets and Neil actually found himself kind of enjoying them with all the storage they could provide, he finished the outfit with the heavy boots and then stared into the mirror.

He didn’t want to take his contacts out. They hid the cold shade of his eyes. They hid the sign that showed when the craving began. They hid all the telltale signs of him being a dangerous monster. His stomach lurched when he took them out, seeing the icy blue stare back at him. The yellow ring around his pupils was too pale to be seen without looking closer, it was prominent when the craving began. When he felt like tearing flesh apart. Counting down and taking deep breaths he reminded himself that he was not like his father.

Stepping out of the bathroom, he was greeted with a five-foot figure staring him down and Neil found himself frowning. Andrew had managed to come in without the others noticing or saying anything and that was mildly concerning. The dragon shifter reached up to Neil’s neck and pulled him down, staring into his eyes. The bored look had Neil reminded that this time around Andrew hadn’t taken his meds. Neil wasn’t sure if Andrew understood how severe the consequences would be if he was off his meds.

“Satisfied?” Neil muttered, trying not to draw attention by being quiet. Andrew let him go, shooting him a bored look and shrugged, walking ahead of Neil, who quickly discarded his clothes in the bedroom, and out of the suite.

 

The ride was fairly quiet, Aaron, Neil and Andrew were squeezed into the backseat of the car, with Neil trying not to touch any of the two dragons. Neil tried to focus on either Andrew’s or Aaron’s smell, not caring if it was stupid, but Kevin’s stench was overwhelming his senses. He hunched over a little, trying to breathe and not feel the urge to retch. Andrew seemed to doze off on his side, always facing the window, though he still shot Neil a glance.

“Can you make yourself smaller Josten?” Aaron growled and shoved Neil, who curled in on himself more. Neil wasn’t sure why there was pain where Aaron shoved him, but quickly remembered the curse placed there. It was one of the last one’s his mother put on him, which was why it was still painful to the touch.

“Aaron.” Andrew’s voice was bored but Neil could almost feel Aaron flinch. “Sit up Josten.” Neil didn’t, he wondered why he even agreed to go with them in the first place. His mind ran a mile a minute and he felt like he would lose control. “You can freak out later.” Neil sat up, leaning back and trying to find a way to breathe through Kevin’s stench again.

“Can’t breathe.” It was barely a whisper, and Neil saw Andrew stare at him, a barely there frown, though his look changed barely visible, he paled and pressed his hand to his mouth.

“Nicky pull over.” He commanded and Nicky drove to the side and stopping. Andrew got out of the car, to vomit on the side and Neil realized that it was because he was off his meds. It was a violent crash and Neil wasn’t sure if to feel bad or happy to see him suffer. “Aaron, switch places with Neil.”

“What the fuck Andrew?” He groaned but complied, stepping out of the car and letting Neil out as well before sliding into the middle seat and Neil piling in behind him, now sitting behind the driver’s seat. Andrew sat on Aaron’s opposite side, shooting Neil a look and shooed Nicky off to continue driving. Needless to say, breathing felt a little easier.

 

They arrived at a small diner called _Sweetie’s_ and Neil wondered what they were doing there. They were directed to a booth in the back corner, but Andrew stopped by the salad bar to get a few packets of crackers, before returning to them. A waitress came and took their order, Nicky ordering the ice cream special for everyone and Neil grimaced a little. He didn't like sweets.

The waitress came back with their orders and dropped several napkins onto the table. Andrew almost immediately sifted through them and pocketing the small packs, pouring a single one in his mouth. It seemed to dull the edge of the withdrawal.

“Andrew we’re in public,” Nicky looked around, but they were pretty uninteresting to everyone else.

“Look at me caring.” Andrew stared straight ahead at Neil, his gaze intent.

“What,” Neil grit out, feeling watched and he hated it. The paranoia spiked and Neil felt the urge to run. He couldn’t and that drove him crazy. Andrew shrugged at him and ate his ice cream. Everyone else following suit. Neil didn't know how a dragon who breathed and lived with fire could ever enjoy the icy sweetness of ice cream but Andrew had managed to surprise him more than once already.

 

The drive to a club called _Eden’s Twilight_ wasn’t long and Neil felt slightly intimidated at the long line of people dressed in black with spikes and other things. Nicky stopped by the curb in front of the entrance and everyone else got out, Aaron passing Nicky a VIP parking pass from the bouncer and he drove off to find a spot. The others participated in a complicated handshake and Andrew just saluted to the bouncers. Neil wanted to be the last to enter but Andrew pushed him further, panic spiking in Neil’s chest. Too many smells overwhelmed him and he felt like was about to pass out. Andrew kept pushing and steered Neil to the bar, the others looking for a table.

At the bar, Andrew waited for a specific bartender who smiled at Andrew and by extension Neil. “Andrew! Back so soon? Who’s the new victim?”

“A nobody,” Andrew said. “The usual for us.”

The man looked at Neil. “And for you?”

“I don’t drink,” he said loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Soda then.” The bartender nodded, glanced at Andrew for a moment and began preparing the drinks. He came back with a tray of drinks, putting Neil’s soda extra for Neil to take. Andrew took the tray with practiced ease and went through the crowd pushing drunks out of his way, Neil following close behind. Nicky and the others awaited Andrew, who put the tray down on the table.

“Cheers!” Nicky downed his drink in almost one go, the others following suit. Neil sipped at his soda, it was sweet and he felt more dehydrated than refreshed and when Nicky prodded him to keep up, Neil drank it down, deciding to ignore it for a moment. Neil followed Andrew to the bar again and he wanted to ask for water but the bartender poured him another soda.

The packets Andrew had taken from the diner reappeared and he passed them out, even taunting Neil with one, who just stared at him impassively. He was disappointed that even Kevin took one, but he kept that to himself.

“Cracker dust.” Nicky ripped the packet open and poured it in his mouth. “Tastes like sugar and salt and gives you a small rush.”

“Drugs are stupid.”

“How judgmental of you,” Andrew watched Neil.

“That’s not my problem.”

“Is your spine the spine of the righteous?” Andrew wondered. “Are you trying your best to step on my toe because you feel like you’re a saint?”

“Righteousness is for people who don’t know any better.”

“Easy there,” Nicky muttered and distributed shots to everyone in a placating gesture. “Dust doesn’t have any lasting effects, it just makes the night more interesting. Do you think Kevin would risk his future with drugs?”

“What future?” Kevin shot Neil a black look, but Nicky intervened again.

“Drink with us if you won’t dust with us okay?” He held his packet of dust in one hand and the shot in his other. Wordlessly Neil picked up his glass, scowling a little. Nicky counted them off and Neil knocked his shot back.

It was a mistake he realized and lurched to his feet. The aftertaste wasn’t sugar. Andrew moved faster, grabbing Neil by his hair, though his grip relaxed for a short moment in what Neil thought was confusion, then pulled him back down on the chair. He pulled Neil’s head back dangerously and Andrew slammed Neil’s hand down on the table keeping it there. Nicky grabbed his other hand when Neil tried to reach for Andrew’s hand.

“Just noticed, did you?” Andrew asked. “You’re an idiot.” Neil wanted to say something, but Andrew tugged on his hair to silence him. “Did you think you were safe because you ordered your own drinks? Roland knows what it means when I bring outsiders here.” Andrew got up and leaned against Neil, letting him take his weight while he checked Neil’s eyes. “Give it another minute and then it’ll really hit.” Andrew tugged Neil’s hair painfully again when he managed to get his hand out from under Andrew’s. The dragon took the time to push Neil’s hair away from where it was covering the horns, staring at them, with a calculating look.

“Holy shit he has horns!” Nicky exclaimed staring at Neil’s horns but then he frowned, noticing the difference between the two. Andrew glanced at Nicky and then stepped away from Neil, who almost immediately reached for Andrew, but Aaron toppled the chair and sent Neil sprawling.

Nicky and Aaron dragged Neil down to the dancefloor and pushed him into the mass of writhing bodies. Then there was just Nicky, close and looking at him. The kiss was harder than Neil expected, and there was more than just tongue in it. The dust hurt Neil’s tongue too much keep in his mouth so he swallowed it against his better judgement.

“This is how the game goes,” Nicky said against his lips, “Stop fighting if you want to survive.”

“Fuck you.”

“Good luck, Neil.” With that Nicky vanished in the crowd, leaving Neil to stumble and fall. It took serious work and the help of strangers to get standing again and once he found his balance, he was pushed out with a hand to the small of his back. The push sent Neil crashing into the back wall, Andrew leaning a little away. He wanted to take a swing at Andrew but Neil felt too unsteady, channeling his hatred in a fierce look instead.

“I hate you.” Neil wasn’t sure how much hate he managed to squeeze into the words, but he thought it was enough.

“Pick a number and get in line with the team.” Andrew dismissed the claim without so much as a reaction. “You know, you’re not smart for someone who has so much to hide. Like ─ say ─ all the money perhaps.”

“I found it on the sidewalk.”

“Yeah of course you did. And the horns appeared overnight. Tell me who you’re working for and it’ll be over. I have my contacts who could run a background check on you,” Andrew shot back, watching Neil closely.

“Good luck with that, there’s nothing to find about me.” Neil sagged a little. It was true. There was nothing to find about _Neil Josten_. But there was plenty of the monster that was _Nathaniel Wesninski_.

“Oh trust me I’ll find every single lie of yours, runaway.” Neil just felt himself staring at Andrew when he uttered the word ‘runaway’, feeling as if someone punched him in the gut. “The others think you’re trailer trash like Dan. But Renee and I know better. You’re like us.”

“I’m nothing like you.”

“You could be working with Edgar Allan.” Andrew stated, judging Neil’s reaction further. “They move to the southern district and suddenly you appear. The way you stare at Kevin but at the same time avoid closer proximity to him are curious.”

“I’m not a mole. What the heck?”

“Then what would you consider yourself as?” Neil paused at that. What did he consider himself as? It was a question he couldn’t answer. “I will get you off this team because I don’t trust you.”

“It’s not your team.”

“I can pull my strings quite right, you’ll see,” Andrew said and Neil didn’t want to find out.

“Then I’ll repeat it for you. I’m not a mole.”

“Prove it.” The dragon measured him with a stare. “You take a minute to think it over. Think how badly you want to try my patience right now. I’ll be back.” Andrew pushed away from the wall and slipped into the crowd, leaving Neil alone.

Neil on the other hand tried to get some sort of control of his body back. He was trembling and he wasn’t sure how to help himself. Andrew had made it clear that he was willing to make Neil’s live another living hell, as if it hadn’t been one already. Neil needed something to give to Andrew. A truth that wasn’t entirely the truth. Half-truths were his way to go.

He wandered towards the stairs, but Nicky stopped and pushed him back into the crowd. Even with fighting back, Neil couldn’t overpower Nicky. This kiss tasted worse, and Neil went numb from his mouth down. The rest of the night was shattered colors and lights.


	6. My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of Columbia and Neil is a murder magnet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was so much fun writing this because finally the story managed to go a little differently than the books! The next updates might take a while because I have to study for my driver's license, so it might be that I update by the end of the week or later.

Neil awoke with a horrible taste in his mouth, his mind still fuzzy from the night before. He wasn’t sure how bad it had gotten, the hazy memories stopped after a few forceful kisses. He felt someone massage his head, sorting through his hair and poking and prodding at his horns. And for a moment Neil let himself relax, let his guard down.

“I think he likes that,” a voice too known to him said to someone, “And yeah his horns also look a bit different from each other, you were right. One is has kind of scale rings? If I can describe it right. You know what I mean. The other feels like it’s covered in felt.” There was a non-committal grunt and someone left the room. Neil cracked his eyes open, the headache flaring up. He groaned, trying to get up, but he felt too worn out. “You’re awake Neil.”

The reaction was almost violent and Neil thrashed for a moment before Nicky shoved his head over the edge of the bed so Neil could vomit into the bucket. He emptied out the non-existent content of his stomach. Once the heaving and sickness stopped, a headache and a craving replaced it. Neil contemplated the murder of one of the residents and found himself debating Nicky’s death first. Angel-flesh tasted like heaven, he remembered. If cooked correctly he could… Neil stopped his train of thought, knowing what he was thinking about was unforgivable.

“Are you okay?” Nicky looked at him carefully, trying to gauge Neil’s mood. The half-demon grimaced and got up, his numb legs making it hard to even stand and he collapsed more than a few times back into the bed. The half-angel looked bemused and offered to help Neil up, which he refused.

“Don’t touch me.” Neil glared, trying to look intimidating when the door opened up. Aaron stood in the doorframe, looking slightly disgusted, but otherwise better than Neil felt. Though in retrospect, everyone should have seen it coming when Neil threw the nearest object into Aaron’s general direction. The other Minyard evaded swiftly, swearing up and down when a part from the splintering object still hit him.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Aaron growled loud enough for Neil to hear.

“I got drugged and I don’t remember much aside from Nicky kissing me more than once that fucking night and I’m not even sure what happened after.” Neil felt disgusting from everything that happened, he wanted to claw at his skin and rip it off just to get all the dirt off him.

“Wait. Nicky kissed you?” Aaron looked intently at Nicky. “Don’t let Andrew know.” If it had been any other moment, Neil would have found the statement strange. But he couldn’t care less. “Anyways. There’s coffee downstairs. Andrew and Kevin left to get some groceries.” Nicky sent Aaron a cheerful smile, then turned to help Neil down into the kitchen.

 

He didn’t trust them even when he was seated at the table and Nicky gave him a glass of water, which Neil didn’t touch. There was no guarantee that they hadn’t tampered with the contents.

“Okay, so. You don’t trust us, yeah. That’s understandable but you should at least drink something.” Nicky just sighed when Neil upended the water onto the floor, scowling at him and Aaron.

“That’s mature,” Aaron grumbled and glared back.

“Fuck you.”

“Neil, you can go take a shower and clean yourself up in the bathroom first,” Nicky said and Neil left for upstairs without another word to them. He locked himself in the bathroom, took one of the spare toothbrushes and quickly brushed his teeth, then looked at the new clothes that were put out for him. They seemed like something he would wear and they also fit him perfectly. Neil shivered when he remembered Andrew had went through his things. The window looked so inviting. Inviting Neil to run and get away. He cut the shower on, it was loud enough so he could flee out of the window into the streets.

 

After a while he stopped at a gas station and got himself something to drink and a sandwich to eat, feeling hungry and dehydrated. Neil drank from his water bottle, ate a sandwich and then stopped a Taxi to get him to the nearest truck station, so he could hitchhike his way back to Palmetto. For a moment he observed the truckers, looked at the different trucks and figured out which ones were heading for Palmetto at which route. The hardest part was convincing them to take a stranger along, though a woman agreed to take him with her, smiling at him. She was human.

Neil tried to pass off as a sociology student, asking a few questions and keeping it as neutral as he could. The woman responded politely, never asked him anything personal.

“Ah. You can drop me off right here.” He gave her a practiced smile, but the woman continued on as if she didn’t hear him and Neil felt his throat close down. Something was wrong.

“Liars never get far,” she gave him a grin and Neil suddenly realized how easy it had been to go with this woman. “So, I take it you’re not a sociology student and you’re definitely not human.” She pointed to his horns and Neil wanted to tear them off. He’d forgotten. He’d lived so long without having to think about them and now it came back to bite him in the ass.

“I want to get off here,” he grit out, looking around for a potential weapon to use against her, but instead he swiped her phone when she wasn’t looking. He needed to call for backup. But who would come for him?

“My name is Tray and you probably figured but I’m a monster trafficker.” Neil had been correct to assume she was dangerous. “You look valuable with those horns of yours. Let me guess. One half is demonic and the other is an equally bad monster yeah?” He tried to evade her gaze, but Tray kept him in her periphery. Instead he began dialing a number, remembering it was Kevin’s and he hated himself for even wanting to reach out for him.

“I’m not for sale you know.” Tray let out a snort and waggled her finger at him.

“You really think you get to decide that?” She reached over and fumbled for something Neil couldn’t identify at first. “You’re a pretty one you know. You’ll be sold for a high price.” He wasn’t even sure if Kevin had picked up since he muted the other side, but kept the microphone on so they could listen. “I have good contacts in Maryland and New York. They’re gonna want a monster like you. Maybe keep you as their new pet, we’ll see. First we gotta determine what you are─” She stopped and looked at his hand which was gripping the phone. “You fucking idiot. Did you call the fucking cops?!”

She made a grab for him but Neil instead bit her arm, tore a chunk of flesh from it and before he could spit it out, Tray pressed a metal rod between his lips and fingered at the leather straps keeping the muzzle in place. He struggled against her but as he swallowed the piece of meat he froze for a moment but it was enough for her. She pulled them tighter than necessary and Neil found the corners of his mouth hurting from how the metal was digging in and he felt the corners of his mouth splitting a bit, the blood flowing from his mouth.

“Fucking whore, I will sell you to someone who knows how you deserve to be treated,” she spat, rummaging for the gun she kept under her steering wheel. “Or I’ll fucking kill you and let the money slip through my hands because a monster like you doesn’t─” She stopped, stared for a moment and then removed the safety of the gun and shot at the phone, the bullet passing through Neil’s hand as well. He gave a pained hiss, panic setting in because he lost his only connection to ever get back safely. His lungs constricted painfully and he wasn’t even sure what to do anymore, he wasn’t bound in any other way but jumping out of a truck had never seemed like an option. There was also the issue of the gun pointed in his direction.

Tray kept on talking, and Neil weighed his options. He wouldn’t die. He’d eaten and he would live, but the pain would make him suffer for days. But he guessed it would be better than ending up as someone’s pet. Then again he would have to lie at the side of the road for a prolonged time. All sorts of people could find him in this vulnerable state. Then he would walk from one trafficker to the next. Neil looked into the side mirror, seeing a black car almost tailing the truck, staying right behind them. It looked familiar and he wondered for a moment.

“Shit, are those cops?” Tray just saw the black car as well, Neil thought and she was distracted for just a moment. He took the chance. Neil unbuckled the seatbelt and threw the door open with all his strength. Tray still got a few shots in, one of them piercing Neil’s side, the other his leg as he fell out of the truck. The sickening crunch of bones made him painfully aware, how hard the impact was and Neil needed to relearn how to breathe when his ribs shattered and crushed his lung for a moment. His head was hurting and Neil wondered how he had not broken his neck with the fall.

The black car skidded to a stop a few meters away from him and Neil just laid there, dazed and feeling the broken ribs. His back was probably broken in one place as well, he couldn’t feel his legs. His skull had cracked, he could feel the blood pooling. The muzzle was painful and Neil clawed at the leather straps.

He was relieved when he reminded himself that the truck had kept on driving, didn’t stop to get him again, but the black car had. In his view appeared familiar faced and he couldn’t say he had ever been happier to see Andrew looking down at him, Kevin’s and Nicky’s shocked expressions. Neil wasn’t sure if it even made sense for him to feel happiness at the situation. His ears felt like someone had stuffed them with cotton, barely registering what anyone was saying. He just saw mouths moving. The sudden pain in back made Neil gasp for air as his spine reset itself. The feeling in his legs returned slowly.

“Are you fucking insane Neil?!” Kevin almost screeched. “If I hadn’t put a tracker on you yesterday you could’ve been gone forever by now! And why the fuck did you jump out of the truck at this speed?!”

“Kevin wait!” Nicky made a grab for Kevin’s hands where he tried to grab Neil’s hands.

“No! He risked his future and mine because he was a stupid idiot who decided to hitchhike and fucking jumped out of the truck!” Kevin managed to grab Neil’s horns, pulled him up at them.

“Kevin.” Andrew’s calm voice let Kevin freeze. “Let him go. You don’t know how hurt he is. You could make it worse.” Then he looked to Aaron, just outside of Neil’s view. “Aaron, check him over. We need to know if it’s safe to move him to Abby’s in our car.” Then he bent down and removed the muzzle with a blank look.

“’m fine.” Neil wasn’t sure if his voice really sounded as terrible as it felt. He spat out some blood, it was his and there was also a tang of the trafficker’s blood, when he’d bitten out the chunk of her arm.

“Sure you are. Neil you jumped out of a truck, you’re not fine, you need to get to Abby’s.” Nicky looked like he was suffering.

“I can feel my legs again. I’m healing on my own.” Kevin let out a pained noise, at the admission. He still saw Aaron kneel down, feeling Neil’s ribs and grimacing at the mess, but frowning when he felt one rib reset itself.

“It’s true. He’s healing one bone at a time. I think we can move him.” Aaron nodded at Andrew.

“Nicky, Aaron, get him into the car. Try not to let him bleed onto the seats.” The dragon walked back to the car, slipping into the driver’s seat. Nicky took off his jacket and wrapped it around Neil when he and Aaron hauled him up. Neil twitched but didn’t say anything. It hurt but it could be worse. Aaron just swore at him under his breath, insulting Neil every step towards the car.


	7. And the lies just won't stop slipping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the almost kidnapping

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for the comments! Here's a short chapter (It's kind of an intermission pretty much)  
> some of you may have realized but I mostly use song lyrics as my chapter titles! :)

When they got back to Abby’s place, Neil’s ribs had reset themselves and Nicky had almost vomited at the crunches they emitted when they moved around. Aaron just had detached interest and Kevin tried not to freak out over everything. Andrew was the calmest and Neil was grateful for at least Andrew not reacting.

“Nicky it’s fine,” Neil tried to diffuse Nicky’s panicked responses.

“Neil, you broke so many bones and you’re not even reacting to them healing and─”

“Yes, I’m not reacting because by now I’m used to it.” That shut Nicky up. Neil wasn’t a fox for nothing. He fit in for reasons he would never name. But half-truths. He had to give Andrew half-truths. Because he would never be able to tell the full truth.

“We arrived,” Kevin mumbled, “I called ahead to tell Abby we were coming in. Apparently, she called Coach as well.” He pointed to Wymack’s car and Neil felt himself panic. He’d fucked up and he was going to pay for it by having to leave the team and─

“Calm down.” Andrew eyed Neil in the rearview mirror when he parked the car, behind Wymack’s. Aaron and Nicky wordlessly got Neil out of the car and helped him into the house even though he insisted he could walk normally without help. In the living room Wymack and Abby waited, staring at the three, before getting Neil to lay down on the couch.

“Okay you fucking monsters. Care to tell me why the fuck he is injured?” Nicky and Aaron looked back at Andrew and Kevin for help. Kevin didn’t even look close to listening, still staring at Neil with a look he wasn’t sure how to interpret.

“We were in Columbia,” Andrew responded when no one did. Wymack and Abby seemed to freeze and Neil wondered if something similar had happened already. The way they reacted to Columbia was telling.

“You’re kidding, I told you to stop with that stupid initiation rite or whatever it is you’re doing there,” the coach thundered and for once Neil didn’t feel the least bit intimidated.

“It’s not our fault he decided to try and hitchhike his way back when he woke up.” Andrew shrugged and looked at Neil.

“You what?!” Abby’s voice was almost hysterical and Neil just shrunk in on himself. “You could’ve gotten killed or taken away and- Don’t tell me your injuries are because you hitchhiked.” Neil just stayed quiet.

“He jumped out of the truck. He hit his head, broke multiple ribs and yet he is _fine_.” Nicky listed off the injuries he knew and it wasn't like Neil wanted to keep it a secret but he still didn’t like having it out in the open.

“I heal quickly.” Aaron snorted at that.

“You fucking regenerate you monster. I don’t know how but almost all of your ribs reset themselves and from what you said when we found you, your fucking spine even repaired itself.” The Minyard crossed his arms and looked at Neil. “Not even a Phoenix can regenerate at such a fast pace.”

“I ate before it happened. It accelerates the healing,” Neil mumbled, not even close to ready to share what he had eaten. They would cast him out, they would muzzle him and tell him what a freak he was. As if Andrew could read his mind he procured the muzzle from somewhere and showed it to Wymack.

“That’s what the trucker gagged him with. Maybe you’ve seen it before.” Wymack took the muzzle and turned it over.

“It’s mostly used for something with sharp teeth. Last time I checked Neil doesn’t have those. There’s a spell on there as well but I need more time to look it over.”

“Can we get to more important things now? For example; how he can’t stay because he is dangerous?” Neil didn’t even think it was still an issue for Andrew, but apparently, it was. Neil hadn’t given him anything to work with yet, so the distrust was understandable. “He’s been lying the first day he got here and I’m not willing to endanger anyone.” Neil bit his lip, he needed to act fast or else Andrew might let it slip that Neil owned too much money for someone with an appearance like his.

“Andrew, can I talk to you in private?” Neil looked at Andrew, feeling nervous. He’d been thinking about what to give him to make Andrew tolerate him at least. To let him stay. “I won’t eat you or anything.” He attempted as a joke but it fell flat.

“No I’m not letting you alone with him,” Wymack grunted, “You’re in bad enough shape as is and I won’t let him kill you.”

“I’m interested.” Andrew simply offered in lieu of a real answer and moved to go up the stairs. “Coach you can come too if you don’t trust me.” Neil got up, from the couch, winced a little at moving because even though his spine had reset earlier, his legs still didn’t feel 100% usable. Wymack glared at the rest of them and then followed Andrew upstairs with Neil.

“What the hell is happening?” Nicky asked Aaron in German and just got a shrug in return. “No seriously. I don’t get it.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Neil heard them shuffle when Abby told them to help her in the kitchen.

 

Andrew was waiting in one of the guest rooms, eyes trained on Neil. The burning feeling of Andrew’s eyes on Neil made him scratch his arm. The blistering heat made him uneasy.

“I’m waiting.” The dragon didn’t take his eyes off Neil one second and Neil was sure he could spot a real lie a mile away.

“I know. I’m just trying to word it right.” He definitely wasn’t stalling. Not at all. Andrew’s gaze didn’t help Neil’s anxiety. Quickly he switched to German, Wymack’s presence still a little unwelcome. “Well. I’ve been on the run for the past eight years. My parents fell victim to some of the traffickers belonging to the Moriyama family. I managed to steal money from them before running and made do with the contacts my parents had always told me to keep.” He cleared his throat. “I’ve been all over the world, running and hiding.”

Neil took a deep breath, waiting for a moment before continuing. “I can’t let Riko see or recognize me. So I will be gone before the match with the Ravens. I just…” Andrew just measured him with a stare and Neil felt raw and exposed. “I’m tired of being nothing.”

“If you leave you go back to being nothing.” Neil hadn’t expected the words but nodded.

“Yeah. But I won’t be anyone’s problem again.” Andrew seemed to think, the small crease between his eyebrows indicated it. The half-demon was sure Andrew was questioning his story. Instead of saying anything, Andrew got up and walked to the door, past Wymack.

“I take it you cleared everything up,” Coach looked between them.

“Neil wants to accompany us to the tower.” Andrew threw a look over his shoulder at Neil. It was no order, it was the truth.

“Are you sure Neil?” Wymack measured Andrew with a stare.

“Yes.” The answer was surprisingly simple and he followed Andrew downstairs to the others. Wymack followed behind them, wondering what happened just then.

 

Abby had prompted the others to help her out in the kitchen and looked back at Andrew’s and Neil’s arrival. “Ah it’s good to see you two in one piece. I decided that you will all stay for lunch─ and I mean _all_ of you.” She gave a pointed look in Neil’s and Andrew’s direction, the latter shrugged. Neil looked a little helpless but nodded.

“Hey Neil, how are you feeling?” Nicky looked at him, seemingly checking him over.

“Good. I’m almost healed. I think there’s just two more ribs and blood needs to be replaced. Then I’m all good,” he responded. Kevin froze when Neil spoke and then turned back to him, his face dark.

“You’ll train twice as hard the next few─”

“Kevin.” Abby shot him a look and he promptly shut up. “That reminds me. How did you even find Neil?” It was a valid question, Neil wasn’t sure if he remembered it right because when they found him, Kevin had been rambling.

“Kevin put a tracker on him,” Aaron supplied, “Andrew probably knew the idiot was gonna get himself killed and ordered Kevin around.”

“That’s the first time I’ve heard you talk so much,” Neil muttered, slight sarcasm in his voice and Aaron shot him a murderous look.

“Okay stop it now.” Abby returned to the stove and finished up whatever she was making. Kevin stepped away, walking over to Neil and stopping beside him.

“We’re gonna talk later.” Neil hadn’t braced himself for the rotten smell and staggered. It was the proximity and Neil’s almost vulnerable state that the smell got to him. The world turned black and the last thing he heard was Nicky’s surprised scream.


	8. Paranoia's all I got left

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With two quick movements, he broke his horns, waves of pain crashing through his system but his mother would have been so proud of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow that was a long absence. I accidentally gave my kindle to my friend who ended up not having the time to read and I only got it back a week ago. And I had to reread everything and man... I still love the books.  
> So this chapter was quite late, I apologize and it's not even that good, but the next chapter will hopefully be better!

Neil came to on Abby’s couch, Nicky staring down at him as he opened his eyes.

“Kevin he’s alive!!” He yelled and Neil flinched at the sudden noise. “Whoops sorry Neil.” The other man gave an apologetic smile, and stepped away. Neil sat up, looked around. Aaron was loitering around in a chair across from the couch Neil was on. Kevin apparently bounded down the stairs and Neil braced himself for the question.

“Why the fuck did you say you were fine?!” Kevin wasn’t yet in the room and already yelled at him. Neil mustered up the resolve to look as nonchalant as he could.

“You smell like something died and is decaying,” he deadpanned, “It’s overwhelming my nose.” Kevin stopped dead in his track and stared wide-eyed at Neil.

“How─” He interrupted himself in favor of staring Neil down. Of course Neil hit a nerve with it.

“So there was no skiing accident.” Neil pretended to think. “Premeditated murder then?” The air seemed thick with tension. “How are you still alive again?”

“Necromancy,” Kevin swallowed, searching the room for some hard alcohol, “I’m far too sober for this conversation.”

“Who’s the necromancer?” Neil pressed on. Information was something powerful. Nicky glanced uncomfortably between them. So they were aware that Kevin was a dead man walking.

“Me.” Kevin stared at him, his hands trembling. The admission stunned Neil for a moment. Kevin raised himself from the dead? He didn’t understand magic and even though necromancy should be right up Neil’s alley with all his fucked up genes, he couldn’t use any form of magic.

“You revived yourself…? How─”

“I marked myself beforehand,” Kevin raised his shirt a bit, showing the handprint on his lower stomach and placed his hand on it. Perfect fit. So he hadn’t been lying.

“It looks like a curse…” Neil muttered, clutching his shirt closer to his body.

“You had your questions now,” Kevin looked at him, “I want to know what the deal with your… horns is.” The horns. Neil had almost forgotten.

“They’re an inconvenience at best. I got kidnapped because of them.”

“Yeah but what are you?” Kevin asked again, clearly wanting an answer.

“A fuck-up.” And it was true. He was a fuck up, a monster in every way of the word. “I’m not talking about it.” They left it at that.

 

Lunch was uneventful, therefore they left quickly afterwards. The upperclassmen awaited Neil’s return. Matt’s ears kept twitching in agitation and Dan was more irritated with Andrew’s lot.

“We had to hear from Coach you almost got kidnapped Neil!” She thundered and Neil’s ingrained instinct to flinch away from an angry woman kicked in. Dan looked like she had been slapped and Matt let his ears hang. Andrew watched with cool interest the scene unfolding before him.

“I’m fine.” The answer he always had ready.

“Bullshit. You got hurt,” Matt was quick to jump in, his gaze flickering over to Andrew and his lot. “You could’ve died!” Neil’s smile was as cruel as it was unreal.

“I already said I’m fine.” It was a meager comeback, but the upperclassmen seemed to understand how futile it was to make him understand. “Andrew and I cleared out what we had to clear and now it’s done.” It was obvious Dan wanted to say something more, but Renee put her hand on her shoulder to stop her.

“Neil said he cleared everything. We should trust him,” she said, a pleasant smile on her face, her gaze was fixed on Andrew though, who just stared back at her, unreadable and blank, but Renee apparently liked what she saw in his eyes. Neil turned slightly, to look back at Andrew, unsure of what their silent conversation was about. He wasn’t psychic, so he quickly lost interest.

Nicky coughed awkwardly in the background. “I’m gonna go to my room and y’know… do stuff!” Aaron glared at him suspiciously and Nicky disappeared, followed by Aaron. Kevin still seemed to wait for something, his gaze trained on the back of Neil’s head. After a few moments he left as well, leaving Andrew to stand in the hallway with Neil and the upperclassmen.

“Do you need anything?” Matt growled at Andrew, who kept his unimpressed look.

“Matt.” Renee gave her sweetest smile and it made Neil’s skin crawl. He couldn’t be comfortable around her. With a shrug and one last look in Neil’s direction, Andrew turned and went back to the suite. Silence descended onto the hallway, Matt grimacing at what happened.

“What’s his problem?” Dan cursed lowly, clenching her fist and glaring at the floor. Renee said nothing and guided Matt and Dan back to the suite, waving at Neil to follow her. He caught a whiff of her magic, dark and foreboding for a moment. She had casted something, but he wasn’t sure what.

 

The first game of the season drew closer. Foxes vs Jackals. Breckenridge was known for their aggressive play. The monsters on their team were powerful, brute force and anger. It was only Wednesday but Neil felt the nerves. His teammates were equally worried, but he tried to not notice. His body ached, still sore from his stunt with the truck, but he ignored it. There was another pain, a different feeling, that got his attention more. One of his curses felt like it was pulsing, his attention shifting in and out of focus. It might have been a belated reaction to something, but Neil didn’t know. He couldn’t remember the exact curses, so finding a solution to the constant pain was harder.

People kept staring at him and it made his skin crawl. Did they know? Were they able to see what he was? Paranoia spiked his panic and Neil wanted so badly to disappear in the masses. He hid in a bathroom stall, ragged breathing and panicking. He asked himself what his mother would have done and came to the only conclusion he could think of. Tearing off his horns. Neil should get rid of them, he knew, if he did it any later, healing would take longer, he wouldn’t be able to play.

With two quick movements, he broke his horns, waves of pain crashing through his system but his mother would have been so proud of him. He stood there, his horns in his hand and _looked_ at them for the first time. One looked a lot more like an antler, whilst the other could have been from any other animal with a horn. He needed to get rid of them so no one could use them against him or find out what he was. Neil waited a beat to calm himself down, then wrapped the bloody ends of his horns in paper and put them in his bag. The half-demon made his way out of the stall to the mirrors, sparing a quick glance before wetting a paper towel and cleaning the bloody wounds on his head.

The day continued without anyone sparing a glance at him.

 

The afternoon covered practice and the obligatory visit to Reddin Medical for a meet and greet with Betsy Dobson, the team’s shrink. Neil had already decided not to talk to her. The only thing worse he found was that he was paired off with Renee to go to Reddin. They waited for Andrew and Nicky to get back, and when they did, Andrew gave Renee the keys to his car.

“Kevin’s not allowed to drive your car, but Renee is?” Neil asked.

“It’s fun telling Kevin no,” Andrew said with a wicked grin. Neil took it with a nod and followed suit when Renee went to change.

They were on their way soon enough and Neil hated every second. He’s tried avoiding Renee for as long as he could and now he was stuck with her in the car.

“I’ve noticed your horns are gone,” she offered her observation, “And that you seem to be in pain.”

“I’m fine.” All his instincts were set on flight and he wanted nothing more than to just run away. He doubted Renee would let him leave that easily.

“Okay. But if you want to talk, I will listen, yes?” She gave him a sweet smile and Neil just nodded.

They arrived and Renee was the first one in Betsy’s office. Neil willed the clock to go faster, to maybe jump over his hour so he could avoid Betsy. He hated psychiatrists. They were too nosy and they could read a person too well. Half an hour mostly sufficed for them to know what made you move.

Renee returned, followed by a woman with pale brown hair and glasses. Neil took an instant disliking to her.

“You must be Neil,” she said. “Nice to meet you.” He followed her into the office and was quickly presented with the fact that she was psychic. It made his stomach lurch and he kept quiet most of the conversation, not thinking, not speaking, nothing. As long as she couldn’t read what was going on inside, he was fine. The half hour droned on and on and on. Neil was glad when it was over.

 

Back at the stadium Coach gathered all his foxes in the lounge after practice.

“Alright maggots. Listen up,” he started, snapping his fingers to get their attention, “It’s two days before the game, classes started today, campus police was doubled but they can’t cover anything. If the press slips past, you tell them we’re not saying anything until Kathy’s show on Saturday.”

“Kathy?” Dan asked.

“Kathy Ferdinand.” Wymack took one look at her confused face and scowled at Kevin. “Didn’t you tell them?”

“There wasn’t a need to.” Kevin crossed his arms and leaned back, expectantly looking at his teammates.

“Do you mean morning show host Kathy Ferdinand?” Matt asked for clarification, ears perking up.

“That’s the one,” Wymack responded, “We have to do some publicity at some point. It was part of our agreement with Chuck and the ERC. Kevin chose Kathy because she agreed to wait until after our first game. Saturday morning we’re heading up to Raleigh to give her an exclusive first interview.”

“When’s the last time you made an official public appearance?” Matt grinned at Kevin. “Do you even remember how to smile?”

“December fourth,” Kevin scowled and didn’t dignify the second jab with a response.

“Neil, you will come with us, the rest can do whatever they want. Come with or stay, I don’t care.” Wymack gave one last look into the group. “Questions, comments, concerns? No? Good, then get out of my sight.” Neil didn’t bother with arguing, knowing Wymack would shoot down every single thing.

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to write it cuz the idea didn't let go of me. Pacing will be awful at the beginning since I want to kickstart it pretty much quickly and get the characters introduced.


End file.
